Just as people fall in love, they also fall out of love for reasons they may
not be able to put into words.
Unfortunately, when this is the case, one person is usually forced out of the relationship with a broken heart while the partner goes on with his or her life with little or no broken heart.
I would say the more you put your trust in someone the more heartbroken you will be if you end up disappointed.
The best way to avoid such heart break is to live and enjoy every moment with a loved one since tomorrow is not promised.
But if you have already been jilted by a loved one, do not be hard on yourself. You can bounce back. How long to recover from such breakup depends on you. It is your decision honestly. If you want to reminisce on what you went through and blame yourself for every single reason for the break up, it will take a longer time.
How much you love yourself also determines how long it will take you to recover from a breakup. I noticed that some people have built their life, confidence and happiness on a partner.
They allow themselves to be controlled by this one person. Whatever he or she hates, you hate and if he or she hates you, you hate yourself.
If you breakup with him or her, your own is finished as you have lived for him or her for years. This is a big problem if this is your situation.
The best way out is to understand that you have one life and you deserve happiness. You deserve to be respected. You deserve to be needed and cared for by a loved one.
Understand your worth as a rare human being and believe that better people have not yet come your way. Believe that you will find love again and work towards it. Forget the past and move on.
Some people have lost a loved one, survived it and went on to live happier lives. You can do too.
After a major breakup, you need to get yourself out of the environment where you will run into your ex.
What if you work in the same company or live in the same block? Can you endure watching
him or her move on with life with someone else? It will be like a constant reminder of what happened. You will feel humiliated. The best is to get yourself out of that environment as soon as you can. If you can't, you need to develop a thick skin. Your senses should be on mute whenever he or she is there. Do not make any comment, smile too much, frown or give any indication you noticed his or her presence.
If he or she wants to flaunt a new partner in your face, this can be painful to endure but you can make him look childish and see you as confident if you ignore completely the hell going on around you.
If you are not living or working in the same area, you may sometimes be tempted to go to places where he or she may see you believing he or she may remember what you guys had and want you back. The reverse is always the case here. Don't forget he or she saw a whole lot of you but still decided to break up with you.
So showing up makes your ex convinced that he or she is no longer interested in you.
Even if there will be room for makeup, you will have better chances by remaining unseen immediately after breakup.
Here's how to bounce back after heartbreaks:
1. The first thing you must do is to forgive him or her. This sounds difficult especially at the early stage but to heal and be free, you must let go completely and the best way to achieve that is to forgive.
2. Forgive yourself.
How do you forgive yourself? You can forgive yourself by not blaming yourself for whatever led to the breakup.
It doesn't matter if you clearly did something wrong. The point is that if he or she was meant for you, no matter what you did, he or she would have made excuses for your actions instead of breaking up with you.
You can forgive yourself by not trying to fix what has already ended. You can forgive yourself by not allowing the breakup to affect other aspects of your life.
3. Make a list of your bad habits and ponder how your habits may have affected or ended the relationship.
This step is very important since without this step you will repeat the same habits with someone new. So make sure you identify what your negative habits are and make up your mind on how you are going to handle things better.
In this step, you really need to work on yourself.
For instance, if you feel your weight was part of the reasons why the breakup happened, try to start working on your weight. This is for your own good bearing in mind loosing weight is also going to make you healthy.
4. Find an immediate replacement. This will definitely sound weird to some but the truth is if you didn't find an immediate replacement to distract you from your ex, you may be tempted to try to reconnect with your ex which almost always fetches you more heart break.
An immediate replacement doesn't necessarily mean a new partner. It could be a new distraction. A new club to join. It could be a gym.
You can decide to hang out with friends few times in the week.
If you rarely eat out, this is the right time to have at least one meal a day in a fancy restaurant.
If there is a new catch, you can allow him or her into your life but let it just be a simple friendship. You guys can hang out together, gist and do fun things together. This could distract you from your ex. Do not talk about your ex since you are not the only one with an ex.
If you can afford it, take a vacation. If you are in Nigeria you can fly to a nice destination like Dubai with a friend or sibling. Trust me you will feel better.
5. Resolve never to go back to your ex. Make sure you keep to this resolution.
Your pride and self confidence depend on it.
No one likes to be with a leach. You are not one
so move on.
6. Maintain a happy and healthy lifestyle. Do not talk about your ex to people. You never know who is listening and will use it against you in the future. When I say move on, I really mean it.
Do things for yourself. Spoil yourself with gifts if you can afford it or you can visit a salon and make your hair, do your nails and watch people as they do same. This is also healing.
7. Believe you will find a better partner bearing in mind that every disappointment is a blessing.
8. Socialize, socialize and socialize.
not be able to put into words.
Unfortunately, when this is the case, one person is usually forced out of the relationship with a broken heart while the partner goes on with his or her life with little or no broken heart.
I would say the more you put your trust in someone the more heartbroken you will be if you end up disappointed.
The best way to avoid such heart break is to live and enjoy every moment with a loved one since tomorrow is not promised.
But if you have already been jilted by a loved one, do not be hard on yourself. You can bounce back. How long to recover from such breakup depends on you. It is your decision honestly. If you want to reminisce on what you went through and blame yourself for every single reason for the break up, it will take a longer time.
How much you love yourself also determines how long it will take you to recover from a breakup. I noticed that some people have built their life, confidence and happiness on a partner.
They allow themselves to be controlled by this one person. Whatever he or she hates, you hate and if he or she hates you, you hate yourself.
If you breakup with him or her, your own is finished as you have lived for him or her for years. This is a big problem if this is your situation.
The best way out is to understand that you have one life and you deserve happiness. You deserve to be respected. You deserve to be needed and cared for by a loved one.
Understand your worth as a rare human being and believe that better people have not yet come your way. Believe that you will find love again and work towards it. Forget the past and move on.
Some people have lost a loved one, survived it and went on to live happier lives. You can do too.
After a major breakup, you need to get yourself out of the environment where you will run into your ex.
What if you work in the same company or live in the same block? Can you endure watching
him or her move on with life with someone else? It will be like a constant reminder of what happened. You will feel humiliated. The best is to get yourself out of that environment as soon as you can. If you can't, you need to develop a thick skin. Your senses should be on mute whenever he or she is there. Do not make any comment, smile too much, frown or give any indication you noticed his or her presence.
If he or she wants to flaunt a new partner in your face, this can be painful to endure but you can make him look childish and see you as confident if you ignore completely the hell going on around you.
If you are not living or working in the same area, you may sometimes be tempted to go to places where he or she may see you believing he or she may remember what you guys had and want you back. The reverse is always the case here. Don't forget he or she saw a whole lot of you but still decided to break up with you.
So showing up makes your ex convinced that he or she is no longer interested in you.
Even if there will be room for makeup, you will have better chances by remaining unseen immediately after breakup.
Here's how to bounce back after heartbreaks:
1. The first thing you must do is to forgive him or her. This sounds difficult especially at the early stage but to heal and be free, you must let go completely and the best way to achieve that is to forgive.
2. Forgive yourself.
How do you forgive yourself? You can forgive yourself by not blaming yourself for whatever led to the breakup.
It doesn't matter if you clearly did something wrong. The point is that if he or she was meant for you, no matter what you did, he or she would have made excuses for your actions instead of breaking up with you.
You can forgive yourself by not trying to fix what has already ended. You can forgive yourself by not allowing the breakup to affect other aspects of your life.
3. Make a list of your bad habits and ponder how your habits may have affected or ended the relationship.
This step is very important since without this step you will repeat the same habits with someone new. So make sure you identify what your negative habits are and make up your mind on how you are going to handle things better.
In this step, you really need to work on yourself.
For instance, if you feel your weight was part of the reasons why the breakup happened, try to start working on your weight. This is for your own good bearing in mind loosing weight is also going to make you healthy.
4. Find an immediate replacement. This will definitely sound weird to some but the truth is if you didn't find an immediate replacement to distract you from your ex, you may be tempted to try to reconnect with your ex which almost always fetches you more heart break.
An immediate replacement doesn't necessarily mean a new partner. It could be a new distraction. A new club to join. It could be a gym.
You can decide to hang out with friends few times in the week.
If you rarely eat out, this is the right time to have at least one meal a day in a fancy restaurant.
If there is a new catch, you can allow him or her into your life but let it just be a simple friendship. You guys can hang out together, gist and do fun things together. This could distract you from your ex. Do not talk about your ex since you are not the only one with an ex.
If you can afford it, take a vacation. If you are in Nigeria you can fly to a nice destination like Dubai with a friend or sibling. Trust me you will feel better.
5. Resolve never to go back to your ex. Make sure you keep to this resolution.
Your pride and self confidence depend on it.
No one likes to be with a leach. You are not one
so move on.
6. Maintain a happy and healthy lifestyle. Do not talk about your ex to people. You never know who is listening and will use it against you in the future. When I say move on, I really mean it.
Do things for yourself. Spoil yourself with gifts if you can afford it or you can visit a salon and make your hair, do your nails and watch people as they do same. This is also healing.
7. Believe you will find a better partner bearing in mind that every disappointment is a blessing.
8. Socialize, socialize and socialize.
What happens if the ex keeps coming back?
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